Experts letting me down easy

Over the past couple of weeks, I've had two instances of experts putting a gentle and seemingly complimentary phrase on a less than flattering physical condition that I didn't even know I had.

Exhibit A: At the hippie shoe store last week in downtown oly, I tried on 15 pairs hoping to find the perfect comfie, water proof, dog walking shoes. My search was futile. Nothing really fit. I tried my shoe size in plus or minus a half a size of many, many cute and appropriate shoes. But everything was too tight or too loose. The very nice and patient (and probably tired of hauling shoe boxes out of the back of the store) gently informed me that this was probably due in part to my narrow instep. Makes me seem petite and graceful huh, having a narrow instep? Actual translation: You have flat feet.

Exhibit B: At the dentist today, I was subjected to hours of torture from what I assume is a dental assistant who ended dental school yesterday. I had to get a hideous dental dam for some of the work, which is kind of like being smothered by latex with your mouth open. On her (no kidding) 12th attempt to get that thing hooked on my tooth, she gave up and called in the dentist. He had no problems, getting in one try. But he did remark: Well, it might be because your teeth are so nicely tapered. Actual translation: You have fangs.